They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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