he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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