normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
