dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
