After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
