Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
