Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
