I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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