weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize