remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sorry about my life...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
