I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
