It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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