Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The uberlube is also flammable
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
