I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
