I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize