Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
