I didn't shave. On purpose
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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