I think my vagina is haunted
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
