I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
