i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
