I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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