you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
