it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Dear god my vagina.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
