The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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