Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
