She said her name was "party"
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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