Apparently you make a good broom.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
