I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
