I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
