They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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