Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
