I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
