So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
