Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
