I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
