the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
