At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
