question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
should my penis look like a turkey
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
