you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
