What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
