He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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