Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
