'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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