She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
