I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
