Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
