i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
