yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
