I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
