Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
