I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize