a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
