I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
