Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
