After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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