How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
