Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
