Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize