so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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