these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
