I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
