Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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