He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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