My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
