I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
