Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
