"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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