so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
