Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Semen is not good for contacts.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
